Am I Living My Best Life?

Am I living my best life?

What a question, right?!

This is often a question I have to ask clients. To which even I sometimes use to say – ‘Well what is my best life?’ Or if we look at this another way we can recall, well I certainly can, I can recall a time where I did not even know the meaning of this question. You see, I used  to lived in so much fear, guilt, shame even that it was difficult just to get it right – and every thing seemed to be going wrong, where quite frankly, the only question in my mind was ‘Why can’t I get it right?!’ and nothing like  ‘Am I living my best life!?’

But life is so easy today, everything works out because I am doing just that – living my best life and being the very best version of me I can possibly be!

Gone are the dark days, when, in such a contracted small place I would think that I was doing everything for everyone and no one ever took notice – ‘That was thoughtful?’ , or another favourite ’Why can’t they just say thank you Cat’. That, in passing is an entitled mentality, doing something and expecting a return – favour, word, deed… Being in this energetic state made my body so heavy that every movement seemed to take out the wind out of my sails, keeping me in that apathetic, procrastinating ‘woe is me’ mode of operation, not really a nice picture to be painting, let alone living… But let me paint it some more for you anyway, as life was very cold, dull, dark, gloomy, lonely, heavy and totally inward focused on my own little problems, that the whole world seemed to refuse to understand! So I had to bear the weight of those problems alone, no one understood me and I could not get my point of view across. If this sounds familiar to you – listen until the end, for you can too get the education and learn to use your new skills, like I did.

Now I chose to be happy and the clouds dissipate, the sun is so bright,  and shiny, life is breezy, the house is filled with the children’s laughter, playing around and such calmness sometimes that it does stop you in your thoughts and take note of the surreal sound of peace – silence amidst the laughter. Of course I feel very much gratitude for this joy, it is so fulfilling but I have worked hard for it, to get out of that trapped lifestyle of shouting, yelling, fighting – sometimes to be right on principle – such misery, sorrow and anger at everything and everyone. Today you can’t stop me sharing my blessings and joys to everyone I meet, if you’re wearing a lovely dress and our paths cross on the high street – with a loving smile I’ll tell you ‘Wow, lovely dress!’ and your inquisitive look will evolve into joy also as you will see Truth, with a capital T, is on my face.  My reward will be that I made a difference in your life, in that millisecond where our eyes meat and you saw that Truth, I know I passed my joy along and I hope that possibly your day will be better because of that!  I do this with humility and honour to you – no more snide sarcastic comments which only bring hurt and pain, I live in joy again. 

You see as a child I had always been a very happy and bubbly, boundless energy, very inquisitive and always learning (that never stoppes!!)  until life happened to me, and believe you me people are incredibly mean, bad liars and shallow with no soul. Perhaps you can relate to what I am saying and you too were a cheerful, high spirited child until life disillusioned you too.  So what do you do? Well you try and mimic the others to survive socially: first at school; then at university or at work. But really you are not like that so it is doubly difficult for you to fit in and deep down, this is perhaps the worst, you know you are living a falsehood and certainly not your best life.

So I started to hide and they say like minded people come together so it must come as no surprise that I found myself surrounded by mean, nasty individuals. My life became bound in shallows and in miseries and I was a misfit for all those years. No matter how hard I tried to climb out, I would hit a brick wall – a caustic comment, a mocking remark and insults flying freely.  So I crawled deeper into my ivory tower, where the vibrant, scintillating child stayed but the adult was entitled, superficial and disagreeable, although to be fair I never could lie!

So how does the question
‘Are you living the best life you want to live?’ make more sense now?

I came to a point of no return and I had to find a way to bridge that gap, cross the moat if you will and let the royal Princess out of the ivory tower by slaying the mean old ‘maratre’ (step- mother!!)

You can always make sure that you are the person you really want to be, I am certainly no longer the yelling spouse, angry mother, and occasionally the dog kicking being I may have once been – no, no, no that was the me of yesteryear. And yesteryear was just a few years ago!!

You see even if I was, as I thought, living the fairy tale in which I was married, living in a big house, huge garden, fast cars but oh my was I sad! So very sad!

I don’t know about you but just to think back to that person makes me very compassionate towards her.

I was so contracted that my muscles ached constantly and I could barely get myself out of bed, think for the day ahead – no I could not look that far, I could just about make it through breakfast and the school run. Everything around me was dark so why look up?

Today? The birds sing – even in my tiny town house with no garden – I am a light as a feather, skipping about my day, leaping out of bed to take each moment, of this amazing life we live here on planet earth, count. I am on a mission you see, to bridge the gap for you and people like the old me to become their best self. These tools I have created enable you to gain skills that enhance your advancement along the path of expanded energy states and Ultimate Consciousness. I am hell bent to help as many people in their contracted negativity state cross that bridge into expanded awareness states of joy, love, peace and gratitude.  This takes time, I know, I’ve walked the path 😉 I’m just further along it than you but I recall every pebble, every stone, every dark hole, rook passing, every tree along it. And of course I am going to give you a “path map” haha

A life ‘path’ to the best YOU…

This does involve talking about energy levels and states but their has been so much advancement in neuroscience that we really can’t call this work voodoo woo hoo stuff any more, we have to move from the industrial age to the digital one. Here the Secret, the Law of Attraction and quantum physics rule the show as we calmly sit to do our meditation and other mindfulness practices.

So you can too gain the education, the knowledge, have the tools to propel you into the 21st century of the digital era; you too can live the life you were meant to live, with fulfilment, values, giving back, fun and doing something that has meaning for you.

Quite recently I was propelled back into that contracted energy state…

Immediately the earth caved in and I was falling down that hole, that dark, dark hole with the feelings cascading in, as I am spiralling down: fear; shame; guilt; apathy and I want to cry on my own sorrow… The hurt is at once at cellular level.  PAUSE,  DEEP BREATHE.

And instantly out come the pix axes – one in each hand that I plunge into the thick moist soil walls of the cavity into which I’m falling.  PAUSE,  DEEP BREATHE.

And now in a bat of an eyelid I CHOOSE to be happy, yes as simple as that!


Imagine if you had the tools to stop yourself from falling, falling down your own hole and dig your own pick axes into the walls of the hollows and just BREATHE. This really gives you enough space to see the reality of the situation, without anger,  guilt or from a place of fear but as you take in that breathe, it allows you to expand, look at the light coming in from above the hole and with time you’ll even be able to heave yourself out of that hole, popping your head out before you speak. 

This is such a valuable skill to have, for everyone who is in a contracted energy state, whether you be a  little timid or a bullied partner, a younger partner in a company, the only woman in a boardroom… This skill to have is very valuable, imagine at work the conversations you’ll be able to join in, how that will have a ripple effect on your relationships will colleagues, bosses and your social life?!

How much do you think your life can change with this one skill? Just to prove it to you now, you are going to do a little exercise 🙂 OK? Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. Are you ready now? Fine let’s begin.

Think back to the last time when you were angry, or frightened, or coming from shame, feeling guilty – are you there? Are you back in that situation? Let’s let you soak in that memory, is your heart rate increasing?  Can you feel the redness of anger on your face rising? Or can you feel the slouching of the shoulders with shame and guilt?

Good now, you know the outcome, you’ve lived this scenario already.  Now, imagine that same scene where before you loose your tongue and say those hurtful words – you say nothing, you take in a deep breathe. Feel the air in your nostrils, up the nose and going down into your lungs. Then breathe out slowly. Now what happens? Do you see where I am going with this? It is as if, with that simple breath, leaving your emotions behind inside you, and somehow you get a birds eye view of the scene below. With this view of the situation, you and calmly direct the players any way you choose – choose being the operative word here.

Now here’s the point, once you know you have a choice then you can become responsible for your actions. With the simple skill of learning to breathe.

Do you think now you can start to travel down the path of living your best life and even a better quality of life?!

So what do you choose now?

  • Are you going to choose to stay where you are, in guilt, shame, fear, pride…. in an ‘entitled’ world?
  • or are you going to empower your life by gaining the knowledge and skillsets to live your better quality life?

There is a link somewhere either on this page or this video

and if you happen to click it you’ll get taken to the library for free training.

I think you’ll find the modules insightful enough to start your own path and if not I hope this has brought you to question your quality of life where you are here and now.

Thanks for your attention

Cat Payen

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